Introduction to kindergarten capitalism, European style

What we see in the European startup community is not innovation. It is kindergarten capitalism 

Let me explain what I mean:

Basically, we have built a system where a new generation of founders plays at being free-market pirates while wearing public subsidy water wings. They present themselves as the saviors of the European economy, but the reality is that their first instinct when faced with any problem isn't to improve the product or sell more, but to go crying to offices in Brussels. It’s the golden pacifier model: companies that wouldn't last half an hour competing against their local hardware store because their true business model isn't invoicing real customers, but learning how to fill out forms for latest government funds so taxpayers can pick up the tab for their office parties

The 28th regime is just a fancy way to ask for a legal ball pit built just for them. They say Europe is too complicated and has too many rules, and that they can’t play with the "big boys" like this. What they are actually asking for is that while the rest of us mortals pay taxes, comply with labor laws, and respect privacy, they should be allowed to jump the fence. They want the benefits of living in an advanced society without the task of contributing. It’s like a child who wants to eat the cake but refuses to wash dishes. They want a zone with "no adults" where they need not be responsible. They call traditional businesses "dinosaurs," while they steal their ground using money that, ironically, comes from the taxes paid by those very same dinosaurs

To hide the trick, they use playground language with big words that mean nothing. They talk about "pivoting" when nobody cares about their idea, "scalability" when they mean they need ten million euros to avoid going bust, and "disruption" when they are trying to bypass a municipal license. It’s a jargon designed to make society feel stupid so they don't dare ask the basic question: When are you going to earn one euro that doesn't come from a public grant or an investor playing with someone else’s money? They hide behind paradigm shifts because a P&L statement in the red is far too vulgar for their visionary minds

The most fascinating thing about this kindergarten capitalism is the fake risk management. If a baker messes up, he closes down and loses his house. If one of these entrepreneurs burns through five million euros of public money on an idea, he goes and gives a speech about "the value of failure." They suffer the special child syndrome: the world owes them attention, the government owes them money and the citizens owe them a "thank you" for existing

It’s time to stop confusing a slide deck with building a real company. Because, at the end of the day, the problem is not that children are playing, it’s that they want us to believe their Lego houses are the foundation of the European economy. It’s high time they pack up their toys, get out into the street, and start behaving like the adults they claim to be